Did you say yeast?
Those who know me even a small amount know that I work for an office in Australia. I do a good job where I work, and was offered the opportunity to do an important task: Make the rough, tough Australians not only free of technical problems--but actually like me. I had thought this to be no small task, to be sure. I mean, every Australian’s like these blokes, right?
My god what have I done!?
Two Average Australian citizens
I’ve seen a television show or two about this country. They have keep crocodiles as pets (Crocodile Dundee), and fly giant condors around instead of driving cars (Rescuers Down Under.) I mean, The Outback, Walkabout, Wallabies, and lots of other words I’ve never understood.
Well, news flash: While they do “come from the land down under, where women glow and men thunder.” they’re a really lovely slice of humanity. Imagine, a land where people listen to what you say, and *gasp* are polite? I MUST KNOW MORE.
So I listened to that tune a couple more times. “Vegemite Sandwich?” Turns out, Vegemite is a pretty popular product over there. Let’s get some so we can understand what they’re talking about.
I tried my local Albertsons, and they had never heard of it.
I tried my local Safeway. “Yeah! Yeah! That ‘Men at Work’ song, right?”
... this was more difficult that I had expected.
We have a variety of import stores here. Whole Foods, and Trader Joes.
“Vegemite. Yes yes. Australian, right?. That’s actually illegal, so you can’t have it in the USA any more.”
ILLEGAL? WHAT! GAAA!
Illegal schmelegal. I’ll get it anyway. Kraft Foods says it’s healthy, and by god, I’m going to get some. On the Kraft Australia website, it links to a store called “Simply OZ.” They seemed to have tons of the stuff, so I put in my order.
Score! Got it.
Little Can of Vegemite, $6
I guess I better eat it.
... DEAR GOD THIS IS HORRIBLE! Let’s feed it to my wife.
HAHAHHA fooled you!
It had become apparent to me that you should put this on toast like they say on the internet. If that’s how they do it, I can do it too. Otherwise, I would have just wasted 6 dollars on another cubicle decoration
Not bad, but not good, either. Maybe americans need it on something else. A coworker bet me I couldn’t eat it on everything for a week. I wasn’t about to lose on a bet like that, so let’s go!
I grabbed one of the $2 burgers out of the vending machine. Lets throw some Vegemite on there, and see if it works out.
Not so much.
Would you, could you, with an Egg McMuffin?
Well, I did, and that was OK, I guess.
Americans eat McDonalds a lot. I figured I’d sacrifice a Quarter Pounder With Cheese to the cause.
Eeah. I’ve had better burgers.
French Dip sandwich? Well, it was definitely salty. The AuJous sauce kind of masked the flavor.
This was the worst thing I’ve ever had. That’s a Taco Bell Soft Taco. I had no idea anything could be this terrible. I didn’t end up eating the bean burrito at all.
Since savory wasn’t my bag, what if I tried it on sweet foods instead. That’s a Kaluah Cream Pie. That was just a bad idea to start with, and boy... well it wasn’t as bad as the Taco Bell.
More fatso foods. This was another great example of a terrible idea. Bad bad bad.
Ultimately, I think the tests ended up a failure. I didn’t like it on anything except the toast, but now I eat it all the time. In fact, the can is near empty today. It’s good with:
Toast
Cheese
In light amounts on a cold sandwich.
Try some with your friends! If for no other reason than to say you did.
Order your own at simplyoz.com. Pick up some beer while you’re at it.
